TEXTONOMICS EXPERT: Marla W. Deibler, Psy.D. Executive Director, Licensed Psychologist The Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia, LLC
Phone: (856) 220-9672
WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO MANAGE THE FOLLOWING SITUATIONS?
- RELATIONSHIP TEXTING? In recent years, technology has brought us some really great advances that have made communicating with our friends and loved ones effortless. So many of us have smartphones and other devices that text and it's just so easy to send a quick message, rather than calling or even emailing someone. When it comes to texting in relationships and texting in general, it's best to make it brief, make it goal-specific, and make it clear. Save longer stories and discussions for face-to-face or telephone interactions.
- SEXTING THROUGH TEXT? So many possibilities have opened up with our ability to briefly and easily send messages in a variety of contexts and situations. When it comes to texting, emails, social media, or any other form of communication that can be accessed by others, it's best to refrain from putting out there anything that you wouldn't want everyone to see. Even with privacy controls and personal smartphones, nothing is secure from being copied, photographed, or otherwise passed along to others. So, if you don't want it out there for public consumption, save it for face-to-face interaction.
- FIGHTING THROUGH TEXT? Written communication can so easily be misinterpreted, as it lacks vocal tone and nonverbal communication that add so much to what we are trying to communicate. We have all found ourselves reading and re-reading a text or an email at one time or another to try to figure out if someone was being serious, joking, or was irritated with us. So, in the interest of good communication, save disagreements for more personal means of contact.
- BREAKING UP THROUGH TEXTING? We've all heard these stories and I think we all cringe when we hear about them. Although communication something like a break up through texting may be easier, as it allows someone to keep some emotional and physical distance from the other person, it is really not good form. As with fighting, if we have a disagreement or some emotionally charged information to share with another person, it's best to communicate with them directly, in person.
- TELLING YOUR PARENTS BAD NEWS? It's not easy to share bad news, particularly when we have to share this news with those who may be upset or disappointed in us or with the situation. The best way to communicate bad news to your parents is to remain calm, honest, open, and direct. Getting upset or defensive tends to intensify the interaction; therefore, it's best to just put it out there to be discussed. - TRYING TO SEE IF SOMEONE LIKES YOU? Most of us can remember a time when finding out if someone likes us involved taking an elaborate survey of our friends and perhaps friends of that person's friends. We spent so much time wondering or even worrying if that person was aware we liked them or catastrophizing about whether they liked us in return. It was exhausting! The best way, really, to find out if someone likes us is to talk to them. Start a conversation, perhaps about a mutual interest or ask them something about them or their interest. Pay attention to how they communicate, both verbally and nonverbally in order to get a first glimpse into their level of interest.