Susan Trombetti: As a certified executive member of the Matchmaking Institute, Susan's insight is highly sought after by media outlets all over the world. Susan has made numerous television appearances and her advice has graced the covers of major publications including Cosmopolitan, Shape, MSN and many more. When she’s not looking for love for her clients, Susan is giving back to the community, sponsoring local charity events and rubbing elbows with A-list celebrities at parties and events scouting for her next perfect match.
What do I do in the following situations?
- When one person starts sending you pictures of body parts? Assuming this is unwanted behavior, delete them from your phone and life. Sexting is just their unconscious, unfiltered stream of sexual thoughts coming through the phone since it is attached to their hand. When one person wants to have a relationship through texting or email?
Don’t. Texting is for announcements only such as “ I am running 5 minutes late”, “ I am at the bar waiting”, or “I had a great time tonight”. This is why some people are no longer clear about whether they are on a date, or where they stand in a relationship. At least communicate on the phone.
- When one person lies about their age, height, sex or weight. Dump him/her over lies. Lies are not a good way to start a relationship and they will only lie about something else more important.
When the person you are with is doing all the talking and won’t shut up? Cut the date short unless you in some playful, flirty way can steer the conversation back to you. This happens to clients all the time. Either they do all the talking or their date. Usually, unless you can correct this problem while it’s happening, you won’t get a second date. In matchmaking, I provide this feedback to let everyone know where there is room for improvement
- When the person shows up not looking like their picture? Cut the date short if they really don’t look anything like the photo because it’s a lie. If they look reasonably like their photo, but just a better shot or glamour shot, okay to stick around.
- When they talk about their ex repeatedly? You could flirtatiously suggest that you want to focus on just the two of you, and change the subject in a fun, casual way. Cut them some slack, and if they continue, you need to dump them. It means they aren’t over their ex. You could say something like you only want to focus on the two of you, and change the subject flirtatiously.
Other Online Dating Tips:
PHOTOS: Always have a professional photo shoot. Your photo is 95% of the game. If you don’t have a great photo, don’t bother to put a profile up online until you have a great one. The professional photo should have a natural pose, and should be the profile picture. It shouldn’t look like a photo you would use on linkedIn or for a job search. Women should be careful to look feminine and sexy, but do not have a bikini photo and men should always wear a shirt. Bright feminine colors are key for women. Hair and make up is important as well.
Don’t put photos up online with you 45 pounds lighter, or 10 years younger. It’s a lie. You know they are going to meet you and immediately know.
When deciding which photos to put online, make sure you upload photos of only you in the photo. You don’t want someone contacting you because they want to know about your friend in the photo or show a cropped picture of you and your ex.
No photos of animals because people that are allergic to pets will pass on your profile. It might just be your neighbor’s or sister’s dog. Whatever, when someone meets you, likes you a lot, you can always figure out what to do about your cat or dog. You just don’t want to be ruled out from the start.
No photos of children. People will fall in love with you, and then your children. Once again, you don’t want to be ruled out because they think they don’t want to date someone with kids.
DON’T BE SUPERFICIAL: Don’t narrow down all of your choices. Height, hair color, and eye color, etc are truly superficial.
Make sure your online profile is upbeat. Do remain positive and don’t say all the things you aren’t looking for in a person. It’s just too negative.
DON’T INTERVIEW THEM. Finally, when you do meet someone, refrain from asking too many questions like it’s a job interview. Remember, it’s a date. they don’t need to know everything about you. Focus on being kind, upbeat ,and smile.